The Campari Project Update

Silent films and their live music

A delightful first time with live music accompanying silent films. This was the Blue Grassy Knoll at my favourite bar, playing their original compositions for Buster Keaton and a 1922 Chinese silent film, Labourer's Love. The best part for me was hearing the simulated sounds of shuffling mahjong tiles. Nice!

Wall Street analysis of a woman seeking $500k+ earning man

Update: This and other great Craigslist ads are discussed in a »recent NYT article.

A hilarious dose of »Tim Hartford-ish humor in a Craiglist post - courtesy of a friend:

Woman seeking $500k+ earning man - advice

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics - bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

Reply 1:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

»Read more...

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.” I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

So there you have it. Beauty is a depreciating asset, good thing I don’t have much of that ;)


Reply 2:

Your also came across your posting with great interest. I am a 28 year old Wall Street trader who qualifies as an eligible suitor under your $500k/yr rule. In fact, I make over a million and can usher a woman into a comfortable, true middle class lifestyle (not like those 500k lower-middle class chumps who have to make do with the junior two-bedroom).

I am sympathetic to your goal in finding a rich man to marry. The milk needs to be sold by the expiration date. But since this is premium milk, why would you settle for less than premium prices? I would like to address some of the questions that were previously missed by the other gentleman and provide constructive advice on where to find your match.

I also do believe in the efficient market theory, and am surprised that $500k hasn’t found you yet. There are plenty of rich lawyers, investment bankers and hedgies to go around in this city. What gives? I think the problem might be that you have not been sufficiently focused in your search efforts.

The culprit, I believe, may be that you are also looking for qualities aside from money - such as looks, personality, and a sense of humor. However, men who have those qualities learn at an early age that they do not need money to attract quality women. As the saying goes, if you can get the milk for free, why pay up for the cow?

What you need to look for is someone who is long money, and short the other aspects. They are not easy to spot, since you are biologically wired to overlook and ignore them. However, the next time that you are at a expensive black tie event, and you are introduced to the short, bald, overweight man who fidgets nervously whilst making conversation with you, pay special attention to him.

Here’s an inspirational story for you. An acquaintance of mine who was also an classy and articulate woman as yourself was able to land that guy - who also happens to be one of the top ten guys at Google. This is the type of stuff that gold-digging moms read to their gold-digging daughters at bedtime. Perhaps you need to make a location change to Silicon Valley - miracles like these happen almost everyday in a land where you can randomly throw a rock and hit a rich nerd squarely in his Kim-jong Il glasses.

And as far as his deficiencies go, they turned out to be not so bad. With hundreds of millions in the bank, she’s been able to clean him up and give him a little sophistication. Think of it as a fixer-upper project with a massive budget (and yourself as a visionary real estate developer!). Although, I must warn you, it is a fine line you are flirting with - you must not overdo it lest he begins to attract younger women who are hotter than yourself. The trick is, you need build him up enough to be presentable, while simultaneously manipulate him into believing you are the best that he will ever do! That and having kids will be your insurance against your depreciation (or as I prefer to use the term, milk going sour).

I wish the best of luck on your sales project. As for me, I am also available for a short-term lease. However, for marriage I wouldn’t consider a woman unless she can bring beauty, brains and self-motivation to the table. I do not want to dilute my gene pool and end up raising a bunch of Paris Hiltons.

Yahoo vs Baidu

Fun ad of Yahoo taking a jibe at Baidu:



English: "If you can search only 100 degrees [Baidu literally means 100 degrees], you might as well search 360 degrees with Yahoo."

But Yahoo probably didn't realize the etymology of Baidu's name, which comes from »众里寻她千百度. So Baidu is not just 100 degrees, but (at least) 1000 degrees.

As my elementary teacher used to say, it's good to do homework.

The Pei connection

SUZHOU - Five years ago, during a break from tango class, Y had asked me what I would like from Paris. After a moment of thought, I said I wanted a postcard of the Louvre pyramids. At that time, I knew very little about I.M. Pei, only that he designed the Louvre pyramids (which invoked a greater desire in me to visit Paris than the Eiffel Tower*) as well as the Kennedy Museum that I was going to see a few days later in Boston. A photo I had taken at the Kennedy Museum later made it into the first issue of our grad student magazine, so that augured well for the start of a Pei connection.**


Rejuvenated from seeing the pyramids again last month, still so breathtaking even though it was my third time, I finally took the long-procrastinated trip to Pei's museum in Suzhou this weekend.

It was most brilliant use of gray I have ever seen. Single-handedly, it connects the antiquity of Suzhou and the modernity of Pei.

Next time I will pack a picnic and spend the day just looking at the gorgeous shadows.

______


____

*I had initially thought of posting a picture of the pyramids, so I poked around my photos for a street-level overview of them. I could not find a single one from all my trips to Paris. I must have concluded that it was much better to enjoy a private moment with the pyramids, than to have a menage-a-trois with hundreds of tourists.

**After coming back from Suzhou, I was delightfully surprised to know that Pei also did my favourite shopping mall and office of three years in Singapore - Raffles City. In fact, the connection can even be traced back further - it used to be my mum's office 20 years ago as well. I should have guessed from his motif of skylight, so classically and effectively used in both Raffles City and the Suzhou Museum.

Chinese are subtle creatures

It was an exhilarating evening. A well-loved Chinese colleague was moving on to our Beijing office, and everyone that mattered agreed to come to his farewell dinner. despite the short notice. I picked a steamboat place for greater interaction. It paid off - it is difficult to remain distant when everyone is tackling hairy crabs with bare hands and suckling prawn curry off their fingers.

The colleague was a true northerner. He toasted every single one of us with a full glass of beer each and then quietly paid the big bill on the pretext of going to the bathroom. More toasts should have happened for an occasion like this, but our predominantly southern team was generally an alcohol-intolerant one and a married-with-kids one at that. While I was a better-than-average drinker, the context was not appropriate for me - a woman - to make alcoholic advances, even extremely platonic ones, to a man. In any case, our team was already much more chatty and relaxed than any other team dinners I had ever been (which were ALWAYS with the big boss), so I should not grumble.

Slightly bolstered by inebriated exhilaration, a few of us decided to go for karaoke after dinner. I typically do not fancy karaoke since I sing like Miss Kermit, but I readily agreed since I enjoy the company of the other three colleagues and I have often heard that the well-loved colleague (WL colleague) sings incredibly well.

It was true. In general, Chinese are subtle creatures (perhaps not when doing business), so when they say the WL colleague sings incredibly well, he sings like Leslie Chung. The amazing thing is of course he is an extremely down-to-earth man. He is hardworking, quietly knowledgeable and produces good work. His wife and teenage son are in the north, so he has been hoping to go back for the past two years. The few times I have walked to the subway station with him and another colleague after work, I have always been amused by the northern idioms and anecdotes he cites.

I also re-discovered Chinese songs in the 3 hours we were singing. I was reminded once again of how much I enjoy them and why in spite of that, I never play Chinese songs at home: they are so subtly expressive that they strike you at the deepest.

I therefore reaffirmed a personal observation I have always harboured - the Chinese language is able to encapsulate much more in one single syllable compared to English. It is perfectly normal, actually even poetic, to sing in Chinese, "If you walk under the spring rain of Taipei | Hong Kong will also rain | The mood of the walls is getting mouldy waiting for you"*, but to sing about getting mouldy sounds quite strange and banal in English indeed.

After a particularly involved song (Anita Mui's 《女人花》) at the end of three hours, you could see that everyone was thinking about it. Everyone alluded to how it reflected Anita's life, but no one said anything about their own.

The Chinese poignancy hung in the air, but it was one that was not to be pierced.





* Karen Mok's 《双城故事》:"...当你走过下梅雨的台北|香港也会|就连墙壁也为你心情发霉..."

Site down at aSW

In place of a mundane "Site is down - check back later":


Russell's »"In Praise of Idleness" is a nice one.

From Venice to Paris

夏天和秋天

夏天说：“叶子转黄了。“

秋天却一直紧紧地抓住夏天的手，抓着她不放。

今天的巴黎是23度。

φ

巴黎铁塔下的红玫瑰望着夏天和秋天，等待着调谢。

浪漫

浪漫是一个人走在在塞纳河旁，
两个人相会在简陋的机场巴士上。

浪漫是男人睡眼惺忪在黑暗中找纸巾擦鼻涕，
女人也睡眼惺忪扭开清凉油，擦在他鼻下。

Singapore according to talljoanne

Since I have been getting quite a number of requests for talljoanne tips on Singapore, I thought I'll complie and organize a sticky post from the emails I've been sending. Should be perfect for those of you visiting Singapore for the first or second time! [Updated: Oct 2009]

Directory service for all restaurants mentioned here: http://www.hungrygowhere.com
Fantastic step-by-step instructions on how to get to places by public transport: http://gothere.sg

Walking, Seeing and Doing

»Night Safari. A great, nice out-of-the-city tropical experience. A must-do in my opinion.

Old shophouses of Chinatown / Tanjong Pagar. For the architecture. (Must lunch or dine at Blue Ginger restaurant - see below.)

Little India. Smell the spices and take in the colours.

»National Orchid Garden (the one inside the Botanic Gardens). Gaze at the amazing variety of orchids in this top-class garden. Don't miss the Misthouse. (Note: There is another one called the Mandai Orchid Garden, which is MUCH further but is supposed to be quite nice too.)

Singapore River. (See below section on Clarke Quay and the walk from Raffles Hotel.)

Drinking (combined with some exploring)

Clarke Quay in the evening:

• Dinner by the river... Tapas Tree, Hot Stones or Jumbo Seafood are good choices;
• Or a coffee... Sit outdoors at the »TCC cafe, log into our free public Wifi (»virtually everywhere in Singapore now), take a photo of yourself and post it on your blog.
• Or a drink outdoors... Cafe Iguana, or the bars at »The Cannery;

Singapore sling in Raffles Hotel. Walk towards the Esplanade - our durian-shape performing arts center by the bay. Then go through the underpass walk towards Victoria Memorial Hall. Salute our founder Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles. Cross the bridge to Fullerton Hotel and have another drink at the Post Bar inside. Think about how wonderful my little country is. If on a Friday, cross the bridge again back to Indochine restaurant by the river and have another drink while listening to live jazz sung open-air.

»Dempsey Road. Old army barracks just off Orchard Road now converted into bars, restaurants and antique furniture shops. Dine under the moon and canopy of huge tropical trees.

Feasting - The Best Part!

»Blue Ginger. Must try. Distinctive Peranakan cuisine (very Singapore / Malaysian, cannot find anywhere else). Go to the restaurant called Blue Ginger on Tanjong Pagar Road. I grew up in that area - in the middle of the city but still charmingly local. Ask the waiter to recommend the top dishes.

Kaya Toast. Kaya is a local jam made from coconut and eggs. Very Singaporean / Malaysia. Ask the hotel concierge to tell you where the nearest »Ya Kun Kaya Toast is.

Chilli crabs and BBQ sambal stingray. Try the »No-Signboard Seafood Restaurant near the Esplanade. You can stroll by the bay after dinner.

Roti prata and street food in general. An Indian slightly fluffy pancake, a delight to watch when it is being flipped in the air! Can be found at foodcourts or open-air food centres. Lau Pa Sat (subway station: Raffles Place) is an easy-to-find place for street food, especially satay. Acceptable quality, but DO NOT eat your chilli crabs here. Stick to Jumbo or No Signboard.

Shopping

Orchard Road is foolproof but I also like I.M. Pei-designed Raffles City (subway station: City Hall) for more interesting selection of shops and a great skylight. the great When you are in the Raffles City area, wander into Chijmes. An old convent converted to a pub/restaurant district.

For more local buys, Little India and Haji Lane are interesting.

In fact, our Singapore airport is also great for shopping after you go through the immigration! Don't arrive at the airport too late.

Dr X apologizes he does not have a ppt

This was the subject line I put down a few minutes ago in an email to a conference organizer.

I LOVE it. That singular, lone protest against how we are beaten to death 10 times over by powerpoints.

Dr X is my ex-boss and we are inviting him to speak a conference. He is quirky, maverick, and a bit mafia-like. (To be this when you are in your 50s and in a place like Singapore is nothing short of a miracle.)

But he is also super-smart, very unassuming and is probably the most sincere person (not to mention boss) that I have met.

Often, I wonder how an idealist like him navigates a world like this every day. And sometimes, I even wonder if it will one day kill him.

It seems to me that idealists need someone to help them transcribe between the two worlds. If so, I should like to apply to a classified ad like this:

NAVIGATORS Required
Helping idealists find space for thinking while wading through the day-to-day

• Believes in the merits of the Socratic method of inquiry
• Able to straddle between the ideal and mundane
• Can convert circuitous conversations into actionable points and powerpoint slides
• Experience preferred but not required

Bartering ruffled feathers for lilies

I love love love the smell of lilies.

The worrywart gene is a recessive one

An email to a German* friend I haven't spoken to recently boomeranged with this:

Dear friends,

I'd be away on live firing on:

Tuesday, 14th August 07

So i'd be uncontactable via email. Please sms or call me at +65 - xxxxxxxx if you need to get hold of me.

First thought of a worrywart: 14 August was a long time ago.

Counter-thought of an economist one split second later: Nay, the probability of him forgetting to turn off his out-of-office is higher.

The worrywart patted herself on the back for having come this far over the years. It's now official - the worrywart gene is a recessive one. Hallelujah!

Life is about living the probabilities.




*Alright, not really a German, but a Singaporean who went to Germany for 6 years. German enough!

The answer must lie in the attempt

On the theoretical impossibility of understanding someone:

If there's any kind of God, he wouldn't be in any one of us - not you, not me, but just in the space in between. If there's some magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone else, sharing something. Even if it's almost impossible to succeed, but who cares, the answer must be in the attempt.

On new art movements:

I value the ones who initiated the China contemporary art movement. Starting a break in style is always the most difficult and best part in art. And this style has become such a distinctive style now that it's what comes to mind when I think of china contemporary art. HK has none and yet some feel that they can look down on china.

Yes, categorical disdain can be quite annoying. I personally don't necessarily like that many of the art pieces at Moganshan Lu, but I always like going to see because I believe that the answer must lie in the attempt, and having the environment to cradle such an attempt.

On straying from the anointed path:

After all these years, I just tell myself I want to try doing photography and see what happens. If it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out and I go back to consulting.

Save Shanghai Heritage

To borrow the words of Twain -

We ought to be careful... for, once China is civilized, it can never be uncivilized again.

Further reading:
»094 Slaughterhouse Blues
»Artist colony scrapped in favor of luxury goods market

Days like these, you remember why you were in love

Shanghai has been impossibly beautiful for the past 10 days. Super blue and clear skies in the day, which turns an alluring prussian blue by twilight.

Days like these, you remember why you were in love.

This year, HRL seems a bit more loved...

(Last year, the 2-week-old lioness in Shanghai spent it hot and sweaty in Zhongshan Park Carrefour fighting alone with the crowd and cashier… The bar was set quite low...)

By the well-prepared

Happy birthday, you lions! (Provider of the picture below)

Hey Ms Lim,
Here's wishing you a happy birthday albeit somewhat in advance! Hope you have a great year ahead and enjoy your time in Shanghai!
Figured i'd drop a note in advance as I'm gonna be on the road most of next week and internet is expensive and patchy at best in Russia.
Enjoy your birthday! Hope you get great gorgeous gifts and get stupendously drunk at the wonderful birthday bash which i'm sure you're having :P

Dear Lioness,
The Aries and the Bull will be more than happy to join you in the savannah for your bday party!
And what a fantastic occasion to see a Lion ride a pink bike!!!

Your royal lioness ... would you like me to escort you to the palace tomorrow night after work??

btw I saw on ASW that ur b-day is today! So a big kiss today and a biger one tomorrow! A domani! (I think the clock on ASW is somehow jetlagged… It is tomorrow!)

By the midnight-oil burners

Happy birthday to you! Cheering with you for getting another year older and wiser. Wishing I am the No. 1 for the bthdy greeting

(Unfortunately, this beat the one above) Happy birthday… :)

Of course sleeping too, you are a young lion. Happy birthday super Joanne.

Happy birthday and many happy returns for the year!

By the just-in-time delivery folks

Happy Birthday!
I thought about you while i was sleeping .... i knew that your birthday was coming. What a sign, no?
So i hope that you will be granted what you wish for ....
But as some people wrote ... Be aware of what you wish for! :P
Diamonds cannot hurt for sure ... :)

Her Royal Lioness,
I wish you all the best in your Royal Bday... today, tomorrow and until your kingdom last...... translation: until winter (mosquitos will die... all of them!). But look it in the positive way, each year you will renew your army, and one of those they will learn not to bite you ....jejejeje. See you in the evening!.. (Context: See Frequently Asked Questions)

»Read more...

Thanks Royal Jo,
For whatever reason, the e-mail of yesterday did not arrive. But see you tonight!
Prince Charming

Dear Joanne,
my best wishes for your birthday!
Before I congratulate you personally tonight, I have two short questions…

Dearest HH aka HRL,
Happy 27th Birthday! Your plans tonight sounds fantabulous.. too bad I can't join in, Your Royal Lioness!
But, whenever HRL returns to her hometown of Lion City, her humble subject would love to take her out to the jungles (ok, maybe night safari...)
Have fun, miss yah lots and again, Happy Birthday!!!!

Good morning Madam
Happy Birthday to you!! Have a great day, at work and later pampering! See you tonight. Shengri Kuai Le!
(I took half a day off, read the Straits Times while eating bak kut teh, had a short siesta, cycled my spanking pink bike to the party venue, had a hair treatment... life's pleasures can be so simple - just with half a day off...)

By the Facebookers

• Yo, Jo. Happy Birthday!!!
• Happy Birthday!!!
• Happy birthday again… happy bday joanny!!
• Happy Birthday Jo =)
• Karen Yu is waiting to wish Joanne Happy Birthday :)
• Happy Birthday Joanne! How is life! Hope you're well!
• Thanks to facebook I learnt it’s your birthday. Happy birthday!

By the Better-Late-Than-Never

Happy belated Birthday Joanne!! or Happy Birthday! if it has not passed yet. P mentioned that you guys were celebrating your birthday last night - hope you guys had a wonderful time!

小猫咪，茉莉祝你生日快乐，昨天的晚餐吃得愉快吧

Dear Jo, I think my sms lag… Happy belated birthday… Got a present for ya… :)

Happy belated birthday and happy national day! How's dinner party?

FAQs about Her Royal Lioness

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT HER ROYAL LIONESS

My dear Inter-Continental Logistics Pricing Analyst,

Please find below some answers to your questions in italics.

----- Original Message ----
From: The Inter-Continental Logistics Pricing Analyst,
To: Her Royal Lioness
Sent: Monday, 30 July 2007 1:54:33
Subject: Re: Her Royal Lioness Celebrates!

Her Royal Lioness???.. please provide a brief answer on following questions:

1) Who is the Royal Lioness?
Please note that the correct title to be used is "Her Royal Lioness", not "the Royal Lioness". Your mere impertinence with this should already have exiled you from the party but Her Royal Lioness is thankfully a benevolent ruler. As for her identity, it is a noble mystery only to be revealed on the day of celebration.

2) Why Royal? is she Princess Crown? or, the Queen? or, the Mother Queen?
She is Princess Crown to Palace No. 1401 of Jing An International Plaza, where she commands over a few annoying mosquitoes which often refuse to do her bidding not to bite.

4) Is HRH related to the British Royal family? or, the Swedish Royal Family? or, the Spanish / Danish / etc, etc?
Note again that it is HRL, not HRH. (Again, the benevolence of HRL prevails over your impertinence…) She is therefore not related to any of those stuffy and passe European lineages. But according to her great-great-grandmother, she may have some savage Mayan blood in her tracing back to Mesoamerica, so do not ever, ever doubt her royalty. (Or doubt it at your own peril...)

5) Bday is on the same day as celebration party?
Of course! HRL cannot find any reason to do it on any other day. Can you?

Her Royal Lioness Celebrates

Dear 25++ guests of Her Royal Lioness,

Her Royal Lioness is pleased to confirm your attendance for the dinner party,
beginning with some nice aperitifs at 7.30 pm at the even nicer:

Urban Tribe
133 Fuxing Lu near Yongfu Lu

Mark your calendar and see you there,
HRL

Aperitifs happily sponsored by HRL; contributions of 100 RMB for the Moroccan dinner appreciated if possible.
Vegetarians or those with dietary restrictions, please let the palace know immediately.

Big thanks to those who bought HRL a spanking new pink Chinese bicycle
and kudos to Ms P for organizing the effort!
(It will be proudly ridden to the party venue and displayed.)

=======================================================