When hiking

When hiking, there occasionally comes a meditative point where it is just you and your strides. You march ahead into the sun.  Other people fade out, their conversations become a radio in the background. The autumn leaves under your feet rustle to the same brisk tempo. You stride on, into a glide.

Camera-phone series #37.

For Yi Zhang (1935 - 2009)

I like the concept of lighting up so much. The dimly pulsating red, the curls of smoke.

How much does a shadow weigh?  I wondered as a child.

It turns out that a shadow of smoke weighs a wisp, but a shadow on a lung – a ton.



- A slightly different version of this picture is a contributing piece in the "Light" exhibition.  Goodenough College, 6 March 2011, 2 pm.   On hindsight, revealing the beer mug suited 姨丈 more: he was the man who gave me my first taste of beer - at age 5!

On the bathroom mirror

Thank you to those of you who participated in the project!

Every tree has had its day

Tomorrow is the first garbage collection day of 2011.

Determination

Also part of the procession,  Slowly but surely, they got there.

At the Sargent by the Sea exhibition today, Mr C and I saw another moving case of determination.  This old lady had a large-print booklet of the explanations on little plaques beside the paintings. She read the large print with a magnifying glass.  To see the paintings, she put on a pair of special glasses around her neck.  The glasses had two sets of lenses stacked, about 5 cm apart.  She alternated between these two methods of seeing, for each painting.

It occurred to me that she must be almost blind, probably seeing just swatches of colours.

I was heartened by the fact that the the Royal Academy of Arts was thoughtful enough to provide aids and facilities for the less able.   Mr C said that the more heartening bit is her determination, because it takes much more for a person to decide to get out of the house and make use of these aids. 

He is right of course.

Mr Tiwari

On 26 July 2010, Mr Tiwari passed away.  I want to say 'suddenly', but I suppose there is no such things as 'sudden' when it comes to death.  Regardless, it left me in great shock the rest of that day and lingering sadness for the rest of my Munich-Salzburg trip.

Mr Tiwari was the »Principal Senior State Counsel of Singapore and helmed many of our international negotiations.  He was the king of UNCLOS (UN Convention on Law of the Sea) and the man for bilateral issues with our immediate neighbours.  He was recently a WTO panellist for the US-China intellectual property rights dispute and was re-invited by Pascal Lamy to be a panellist for the US-Mexico tuna dispute. I had the good fortune to work under his tutelage on several investment guarantee agreements in my career.

He was one of those old-school bosses - all for the nation, serious about work, and fatherly outside it.  He was very senior in the government, but did not think himself too senior to commute by MRT or invite us junior staff to his house for Deepavali.  He cut a familiar figure in the ASEAN circuit with his Gandhi-like stature, round glasses and signature black backpack.

When I came back from Shanghai, he organised lunch among a couple of us.  After lunch, he and I walked side by side.  The rest were behind.  He wanted to hear what I thought about China.  As I talked, he listened on humbly and intently, and we exchanged views as equals.  Such rare humility, I remember thinking.  I did not even know at that time that he was the one who drafted the agreement that established our diplomatic relations with China. 

When I later wanted him to write my recommendation letter for London, I went through a boss to ask him as I was worried that he might feel bad about saying no.  When I formally dropped him a note, he replied,

"Dear Joanne

Will work on this. Not sure why you thought about my saying "no". I will surely help as far as I can .

regards

S Tiwari"

When I explained that he had worked with so many officers over the years and might not remember me enough to write a reference letter, he returned a feisty and touching reply:

"Surely the girl in Shanghai must have made an impression for me to organise a welcoming lunch!"



This, is the Mr Tiwari I remember.



Post-script: Ms L wrote a lovely tribute of him - read it »here.

The pelican that got a shower in time, and the pelican that didn't

   

Credits: »Jim Wilson, Gerald Herbert | New York Times

The BP oil spill. Appalling, the amount of damage we are doing to this earth.



Postscript: A painter at the brunch table a couple of days ago remarked that the media has been so focused on the ecological damage that we seem to forget that 11 men who also died in the explosion.   They are remembered here, this minute, this Bank holiday.

Straight-talking London

I was half an hour late for an appointment today because there were severe delays on the Picadilly Line.  The announcement said that this was "due to a person under a train at Wood Green station".

Not "problem", not "accident", but "person under a train".

Right.  That's a bit too vivid for me bright and early in the morning.

It's the second time I have come across this.  The first time, I had read it on a notice board like »this and it left me disturbed for the night.  Apparently between the tube and rail, there is at least one occurrence in the UK every day.


Postscript: I have just read about an iPhone app that expedites refund applications for tube delay.  I didn't know that TfL offer »refunds for tube delays of more than 15 minutes that are within their control.  Maybe that's why they are so blunt.  Sorry, not our fault this time.  Don't bother with the refund.

Of course there will be great presidents again

via »New York Times

And so in the end, after scoring clients and conquering the world, this is what we become.

Here is another »endearing letter.  I wish I could see it in its original handwriting and stationery.

The quick brown fox

Was not jumping over the lazy dog. It was scurrying along my pavement at night in such a sad state, with a big patch of missing fur on its side.

Heartbreaking.

Contributions to the world

#1: Making my 70-year-old aunt cry with laughter
(I share this honour with my dad.)

#2: Helping people in libraries, shops and homes reach for the high shelves
(Happened even in Germany; I was quite flattered.)

#3: Making complex subjects accessible to laymen
(E.g. healthcare, economics. Seems like more needs to be done - one of my young students wanted to deny miners voting rights for central bankers because he thinks central bank policies are too difficult for the former to comprehend.)

British daffodils

It's a priceless feeling to wake up to blooming daffodils on a wintry 1st Jan.

Uncle's blossoms

Last year at this time, we had to make some hard decisions. Sometimes I wonder if the sedation is more for the living than for the dying.

»NYT: Hard Choice for a Comfortable Death: Sedation

"Let's just go"

The bank account, the aging parents, the jadedness, the divergence of paths, the broken leg, even the visa status... So many things can get into the way.

Whether hearing or saying it, whether literally or metaphorically, I just came to comprehend how precious and under-appreciated a sentence it is.

昔のお菓子

"Mukashi no okashi" - Candies from once upon a time


友達から聞いた話。

彼女のお祖母ちゃんはずいぶん年を取って、何ヶ月前にオランダの老人ホームで病気になってしまった。

最後の日々が近づいてきた。お祖母ちゃんはうわごとを言って、昔のことばかり思い出した。特に、昔のお菓子の名前を繰り返して言った。友達は一生懸命探しても、誰も彼もそのお菓子を聞いたことはなかった。

ついに、お祖母ちゃんはお菓子を食べないままで、なくなった。

もしも今後わたしは誰のために昔のお菓子を探すことになっていたら、こんな店を探しできるようになってほしい。

Memento mori

Today is Remembrance Sunday

From the Tewkesbury Abbey yesterday.

Burning krathong

This body, bhikkhus, is perishable, consciousness is of a nature to dissolve, and all objects of clinging are impermanent, suffering and subject to change.

-Itivuttaka Sutta

Poppy appeal

I haven't seen this poppy in probably 20 years. Out of the blue, I saw it last evening at the Russell Square tube station when I was coming back from the airport.

It reminded me so strongly of my childhood that I went back to the station today to donate and get one from the veteran. I can still remember that particular day in my childhood: it was a sunny Saturday afternoon, my mother had gotten off work and my dad must have dropped me off at her office in the Collyer Quay area. I was no more than five or six - she was holding my hand and we were walking. Along the way, she must have stopped to donate something towards the »poppy appeal - I don't recall too clearly, probably because I was too short then to notice. But I did remember holding a poppy in my hand and walking off together into the afternoon sun...

The poppy has not changed much from that day - still the same crinkly red paper and black button, except it is now adorned by a leaf.

The same cannot be said for the other two protaganists.

Osel

Mr B first mentioned to me a couple of weeks ago about a chosen monk who has decided to renounce. I didn't follow up on it, but stumbled on the »sensationalist Guardian article a week after. The unfortunate article was replicated in several other news sites.

The tulku system of identifying a reincarnated lama is a feature specific to Tibetan Buddhism (as opposed to being part of core Buddhist philosophy). I appreciate the criticisms out there of the tulku system; I too have personal reservations about plucking a child from their childhood* and anointing them a special status. Yet, despite the shortcomings of the tulku system or even Tibetan Buddhism as a whole, I think it is only fair to present a balanced view of the Osel story by offering the other side of it.

I have not researched in too much detail, but it seems that the Babylon Magazine in Spain was the first to have interviewed Osel and all the rest picked up the story. If you have read the Guardian article, take a moment to read the Babylon article below as well. I thought it was considerably more thoughtful, less black and white. Read also »what Osel himself says.

»BabylonMagazine May/Jun 2009

In all organized religions and perhaps organizations and systems in general, size breeds politics. Original intentions become forgotten and perfectly well-intended processes become blindly ritualized. Some people have advocated practising a Buddhism that not culture-specific. It is sound advice, but to the extent that organization exists as a necessary evil in every facet of human society (religion included), I am not sure if it is attainable in reality.




*A great deal has also been made of the harshness of monastic life and that Osel did not enjoy it. Indeed, monastic life in any religion is not an easy one. It perhaps should not be a decision that one makes on behalf of a child. Yet in Asia, poverty is also a reason (actually, probably the key reason) why children are sent to the monastery. Should abbots of monasteries then turn them away? I don't have the answer. The best we can do is not to make life difficult if they decide to renounce later. P.S. Buddhism does allow for renunciation of monastic vows.

Disclosure: I am a Buddhist. As a student in the midwestern US, I used to go to a small Tibetan Buddhist temple headed by compassionate and unpolitical people. I have been exposed to other Buddhist traditions as well. While I do not regularly go to any temples now, the Tibetan tradition remains the one I have most affinity with.